Tag Archives: police

700 days of Battle us vs. the Police–Probably the Funniest Non-English Film I’ve Ever Seen.

This movie for all of its great lines and comical scenes is a movie Hollywood simply would never make.  Why?  because it is too simple.  There are no action scenes, unnecessary subplots or super-graphics, merely a bunch of teenagers having fun with an uptight policeman.  As I’ve said in the past, Hollywood films nowadays are nothing more than a bunch of special effects and action scenes strung together with a “plot” to fill in the space.  This movie is different, 700 Days is an episodic look at the escalation of the war between a group of mischievous high school students and a strict, uptight new cop in town.  Nothing more, nothing less.

The showdown begins when one of the team is caught speeding on his bike past a hidden radar gun and is given a ticket.  Not to take this lying down, his fellow group of prankster-teens decides to retaliate by taking revenge on the new sheriff in town.  It starts with simple speeding through the radar trap on bicycles to annoy the waiting policemen but gradually moves to more elaborate and bizarre tomfooleries.  Like running past the speed camera with a brass band trying to disrupt the radar gun, planting pornographic manga around the police station and stealing fireworks.  Though the actions and results of these pranks may, in the grand scheme of things, seem to be of little significance, the officer eventually finds himself brought down to their level and retaliating with similar means, hence starting a small-town war with no end in sight.

On the surface there may not seem to be any real plot progression, however, the irreverent and outrageous humor makes the film increasingly engaging as each side tries to one up and out-fox the other in order to claim king of the mountain status.  Director Tsukamoto even does it with style, making moments of the film literally look like frames of a Japanese comics—apparently this film is based on a very popular manga (a Japanese comic that people of all ages read covering a vast array of topics) and Fukada keep the laughs coming almost constantly, making for a pleasurable comedy.

Often there is not too much one can say in a review of a film like this without giving away the store except that the right chemistry is evident between the cast of characters making their performances lively, funny and convincing.


Typically foreign comedies don’t translate well into other languages—not this one.  Hollywood should take some pretty damn good notes on this movie’s methods and writing if they ever want to produce something original besides the usual dreck they force on an innocent public.  Not everything has to be a $50 million special effects season bonanza or some idiotic Martin Lawrence and whoever he currently teamed up with in some cliché bad cop movie to get some laughs.  The fact of the matter is, is that at every high school in this country you will find some unsung heroes like the gang headed by Granny bike leading the charge against unjust, unjustified and absolutely unnecessary oppression by narrow-minded fanatics who have nothing more in life other than their petty rules and torments.  The sooner Granny Bike & Co. push them over the edge so they get over themselves the better off we all are since little healthy rebellion never hurt anything; in fact it makes our kids stronger giving them the backbone to stand up to a system which may not have their best interest at heart.  Again, this simple premise is lost on today’s motion picture studio decision makers in their concern with some nonsensical sappy requirement to have every base covered in the last scene so that all loose ends are tied up letting everyone go home feeling nice, neat and complete.  They are nothing more than a bunch of chicken shits in my mind.  This film has more humor in the first 20 minutes than all the comedies produced in 2012 combined.  I dare you to remember back to your youth and not admire or reminisce about some of the pranks these guys pulled in a couple hundred days.  And if you can’t, you sure missed out on a great portion of life that you will never get back.

Too simple for Hollywood, no question about it.  Too bad of course.  Based on the clips I have included you are really getting a taste of what this movie is about.  You’d be a fool not to watch this film and urge our formulaic unoriginal and clichéd film industry to produce at least something like this just once in a while.

I hope you enjoyed it and please watch when you get a chance.




Posted by on December 16, 2012 in Movie Reviews


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Apparently this guy is a neurosurgeon on Grey’s Anatomy. “Run” (1991) Starring Patrick Dempsey.

I have never seen this “Grey’s Anatomy” show but I understand it is (or at least was) quite popular.  I also can’t remember Patrick Dempsey as anything other than an awkward and annoying (in my opinion) teen in such 80’s films as Can’t Buy Me Love (1987) and Loverboy (1989) (also staring Kirstie Allie).  The movie Run (1991) seems to be a mere continuation of those rigidly formulaic 1980’s teen coming of age type of movies except this film is nothing more than a “chase” movie pure and simple.  This one is so bad it shines in the “you have to watch it because it sucks” category.


I’ve seen porno movies with more complex plots that Run, but here we go anyway:  Dempsey plays Charlie Farrow, a Boston law student, part-time mechanic and of course never can lose poker player who is asked by his boss to drive a new Porsche 911 from Boston to Atlantic City.  The car, however, breaks down—those damn Germans–and while Farrow waits for the car to be repaired, a cab driver (who mistakes him for an Atlantic City card shark) takes him to an underground casino run by the mob to get something to eat.


While waiting for his return ride to the garage, Farrow decides to play a couple of hands of poker.  He ends up soundly beating Denny Halloran (Alan C. Peterson), who is really pissed off and embarrassed this kid took him to poker school.  Of course there is a resulting fight where Denny corners Farrow but trips over a potted palm, and accidentally hits his head on the sharp corner of a counter, and dies.  To add an exciting element (sarcasm) (I really need to invent a ‘sarcastic’ font) Denny happens to be the son of mob boss Matt Halloran (Ken Pogue), who not only owns the casino but most of the law enforcement in the area. 


Farrow finds himself on the “Run” (very clever) from cops and the mob henchmen, all of whom want to collect a $50,000 dollar bounty the boss has placed on his head.  He finds Kelly Preston, yes, that is right, Kelly Preston wife of Travolta and even better, the 1990 former fiancé of Charlie Sheen’s but she had to end the relationship shortly after he accidentally shot her in the arm.  She plays Karen Landers, Farrow’s only friend who, and you are never going to believe this, gets shot in the arm (I’ll bet she wasn’t even acting having some “real world” experience with it only the year before).  Like every “B” film, the bodies start to pile up as the couple dodge flying bullets, bowling pins, explosions from a nice selection of military grade assault weapons and other shrapnel and twisted auto parts and oh yeah, the Porsche didn’t make it more than 15 minutes into the film.  The chase takes him through racetracks, amusement parks, bowling alleys and a shopping mall.  Dempsey certainly covered a lot of ground in this one. 


Farrow and the mob boss go head to head at a dog track and here is the best part, the mob boss gets impaled by the mechanical pace-rabbit that was speeding around the track and was now circling back toward him.  I could not believe it!  He got impaled by the rabbit the dogs chase at the track!  Wow!  I sure didn’t see that coming.  I was on the edge of the couch for that thriller.


Well, they sure don’t make them like Run anymore and I believe they should to give guys like me something to bitch about.  Be that as it may, I am glad to see at least one Hollywood type who pulled himself together and changed the direction of his career.


All hail Dr. H for recommending this one.


Posted by on May 30, 2011 in Movie Reviews


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Final Look At the B-Movies: Four Brothers.

This film only has a handful of main problems, which I shall outline below:

1) Terrible storyline 2) Terrible script 3) Terrible acting.   But that is why it is a B Movie I suppose.

Often a bad movie gets a bad rap after time passes.  However, too often this is not the case with some bad action movies, especially the movies that contain some decent action but besides that are completely worthless. This is the case with Four Brothers, the storyline is thin, and the acting is poor. Frankly, if I didn’t have guest over that wanted us to review it I would not have watched the who thing.

The clichés are all over the place in this plot. The two-bit hustler turned crime boss, the dirty city councilman who appears to be trying to clean up the neighborhood while he’s secretly in cahoots with said crime boss, the dirty cop killing his partner, the one good cop who really seems to care, the plot twist that leads them to wrongly suspect one of the “brothers,” the weakest brother dying because he was a little too brash, the boxing match to settle all scores ad nauseum.

The acting in this movie is just plain terrible. The best example is the Bobby Mercer line, as their running from the bodega to look for the guy with an afro who says something to the effect of, “that wasn’t a holdup, it was a contract killing. Let’s go!” They all take off at a brisk jog.  Clearly the writer/director/producer believes that a lot of stupid people are going to watch this film so they need the characters to spell out the plot “twists.” But why are they running? And why does Mark Wahlberg have to deliver each line like he’s reading a comic book? Honestly, that line should have been followed by the horn section doing the original Batman theme.  Moreover, given the different accents the characters all have, if this movie was to be in Detroit, the least they could have lead us to believe that the characters might actually be from Detroit.


Posted by on August 22, 2010 in Movie Reviews


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