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Back by Popular Demand: Emma and Sally Review Monk While JPFMovies Slumbers at his Post (with input from Dr. H and Hank)

Because audiences have been clamoring for another review from Emma (age 13) and Sally (age 8), the girls have agreed to review Monk, USA’s long running series about OCD suffering detective Adrian Monk (starring and produced by Tony Shalhoub) and his assistant, single mom Natalie Teeger (Traylor Howard).

What do you think of Monk?

Sally: It’s great.  It’s funny.  Because Mr. Monk is afraid of ladybugs, and harmonicas, and milk, and heights, and germs, and a hundred and something other things.

What about you, Emma?

Emma: It’s funny.  Because.

Because why?

Emma: Her answer applies to my answer too.

Which assistant do you like best?

Emma: Natalie.

Sally: Natalie.

Why not Sharona?

Sally: She just—I don’t know.

Emma: I think Natalie’s better at dealing with Mr. Monk.

Sally: Because she’s used to dealing with her daughter.  She has better ideas.  And she doesn’t quit.  I also like the theme song!!

Emma: It’s better than the old one.

How about the rapper theme song?

Emma: Oh, that was a good one too.

What’s your favorite Monk episode?

Emma: Umm…well, the garbage one was pretty good.

Sally: I didn’t see all of that. They’re basically all equal.  I think the ones where he gets drunk or sick are best because he does funnier things.

 

What do you think of the doctor?

Emma: Oh, the one where Dr. Kroger quits is a funny one.

Sally: The ones with Harold are good too.

Who’s Harold?

Emma: He’s his rival.  He’s also Natalie’s rival in the school board election in that one episode.

Does Monk remind you of any other television detectives?

JPFMovies (talking in his sleep): Sherlock Holmes with a germ phobia.

Emma: Hercule Poirot. He likes everything to be very neat and orderly.

Dr. H: Columbo.

Hank: He is quirky like Columbo.

Sally: Who’s Columbo?

Hank: He was an old time detective.

What would you tell Monk if you were his doctor?

Sally: I would bring my harmonica and tell him to play it.  And tell him that ladybugs are harmless.

Emma: We’re trying to watch an episode.

Well, I’m trying to compile a movie review.

Do you think Monk is ready to be back on the police force?

Sally: Yes, I do.

Emma: No.

Sally: What?! What are you talking about, Emma?

Emma: Well, his phobias would get in the way of his police work.

Sally: Yes, but he’s a great detective!

Which phobias would be a problem for a police officer?

Emma: Well, just about all of them. I mean, there’s heights, germs.

Sally: Afraid of frogs, ladybugs.

Emma: Yeah, but that’s not so much of a big deal.

Sally: But what if someone framed a ladybug?

Emma: How would you frame a ladybug?

Somebody framed a monkey once, right?

Emma/Sally: Yes.

Would you like to meet Monk in real life? What if he could come and stay with us for a week?

Sally: Yes.

Emma: That would be…

Sally: It would be weird, but yes.  But we would have to REALLY clean up.

Emma: HE would clean up.

Sally: I mean before he came.  He would put stuff in places where we couldn’t find them.

What would be Monk’s least favorite room while visiting us?

Emma: The kitchen, probably. Or Sally’s room!

Sally: My room!

How would JPFMovies and Monk get along?

Sally: Well, not so great.

Emma: Well…

Sally: Well, not so great.

 

What do you think Monk would do to the DVD collection?

Sally: Uh…organize it.  Why are you doing this instead of JPFMovies?

Because JPFMovies is snoring.

JPFMovies: zzzzz………..What are you doing? ….zzzzzzzz

 

What would you rather watch, Monk or Malcolm in the Middle?

Emma/Sally: MONK!!!!

Sally: What a question.

 

On another note, what do you two think of the allegations that we snuck the My Fair Lady review into the coveted position of 150th post?

Emma: I deny those allegations.

Sally: I don’t really know what you mean.

JPFMovies: zzzzzzz

 

JPFMovies could not be reached for comment.

*Note JPFmovies was NOT provided an opportunity to respond to these scurrilous accusations.  JPFmovies denies any lack of diligence on the part of the site and/or any claims that JPFmovies “fell asleep at the switch” so-to-speak.  Furthermore JPFmovies maintains the position that it was scammed out of its 150th review extravaganza by the treacherous trio. 

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 13, 2011 in Movie Reviews

 

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Kung Fu: One of The Great T.V. Series of All Time

Kung Fu: One of The Great T.V. Series of All Time

Kung Fu starring the late David Carradine

Given the recent and unusual circumstances surrounding David Carradine’s death, I thought it only appropriate to let some time pass between his untimely demise and reviewing his trademark character Kwai Chang Kaine in one of the greatest T.V. series ever made: Kung Fu.

Kung Fu lore has it that Bruce Lee originally conceived of the idea for the show and had wanted it to feature Lee as the star.  Carradine, however, pulls it off and would be known for the rest of his life as Kaine.  Kaine, an orphan who was raised by Shaolin monks, was forced to flee China after killing the emperor’s nephew in retaliation for the murder of his kung fu master Po (played by Keye Luke).  Constantly on the run from bounty hunters and assassins from China, Kaine wanders the American West in search of his half-brother Danny.  His conscience forces him to fight injustice wherever he encounters it, fueled by flashbacks of training during which his master famously referred to him as “Grasshopper.” Also dispensing wisdom is the head monk Master Kahn (played by Phillip Ahn).  This show has a very mystical quality and when combined with the eerie music of Jim Helms, that mystic quality is even more fully fleshed-out.

It’s detestable that anyone who hasn’t seen the show often lumps it in with the group of old, campy television shows like “The A-Team” or “Charlie’s Angels” or others similar shows of that ilk. To those Philistines I would like to say that any given, hour-long episode of “Kung Fu” probably contained only about 45 to 60 seconds of actual action–if not less even less. The fact is, David Carradine was as good a leading man and true actor as any TV drama has ever featured.

Caine was a true iconoclast (in the best sense of the word) within the world of mainstream network television–a complete reversal of nearly every American screen hero who came before.  He was not just peaceful–but passive and serene.  As Caine described it–“Kung Fu” was an “anti-revenge television show”–an astonishing premise for a show given the norm of the day.

It certainly could be argued that T.V. was just as much of a wasteland in the ’70s as it is today, but I long for the day when we will be able to view something as good as this again on broadcast television.

As Martin Scorsese (who gave Carradine’s eulogy) said, and with whom I completely agree, “We’re going to miss you Kawai Chang Kaine.”

 
6 Comments

Posted by on March 21, 2010 in Movie Reviews

 

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