Because audiences have been clamoring for another review from Emma (age 13) and Sally (age 8), the girls have agreed to review Monk, USA’s long running series about OCD suffering detective Adrian Monk (starring and produced by Tony Shalhoub) and his assistant, single mom Natalie Teeger (Traylor Howard).
What do you think of Monk?
Sally: It’s great. It’s funny. Because Mr. Monk is afraid of ladybugs, and harmonicas, and milk, and heights, and germs, and a hundred and something other things.
What about you, Emma?
Emma: It’s funny. Because.
Emma: Her answer applies to my answer too.
Which assistant do you like best?
Why not Sharona?
Sally: She just—I don’t know.
Emma: I think Natalie’s better at dealing with Mr. Monk.
Sally: Because she’s used to dealing with her daughter. She has better ideas. And she doesn’t quit. I also like the theme song!!
Emma: It’s better than the old one.
How about the rapper theme song?
Emma: Oh, that was a good one too.
What’s your favorite Monk episode?
Emma: Umm…well, the garbage one was pretty good.
Sally: I didn’t see all of that. They’re basically all equal. I think the ones where he gets drunk or sick are best because he does funnier things.
What do you think of the doctor?
Emma: Oh, the one where Dr. Kroger quits is a funny one.
Sally: The ones with Harold are good too.
Emma: He’s his rival. He’s also Natalie’s rival in the school board election in that one episode.
Does Monk remind you of any other television detectives?
JPFMovies (talking in his sleep): Sherlock Holmes with a germ phobia.
Emma: Hercule Poirot. He likes everything to be very neat and orderly.
Dr. H: Columbo.
Hank: He is quirky like Columbo.
Sally: Who’s Columbo?
Hank: He was an old time detective.
What would you tell Monk if you were his doctor?
Sally: I would bring my harmonica and tell him to play it. And tell him that ladybugs are harmless.
Emma: We’re trying to watch an episode.
Well, I’m trying to compile a movie review.
Do you think Monk is ready to be back on the police force?
Sally: Yes, I do.
Sally: What?! What are you talking about, Emma?
Emma: Well, his phobias would get in the way of his police work.
Sally: Yes, but he’s a great detective!
Which phobias would be a problem for a police officer?
Emma: Well, just about all of them. I mean, there’s heights, germs.
Sally: Afraid of frogs, ladybugs.
Emma: Yeah, but that’s not so much of a big deal.
Sally: But what if someone framed a ladybug?
Emma: How would you frame a ladybug?
Somebody framed a monkey once, right?
Would you like to meet Monk in real life? What if he could come and stay with us for a week?
Emma: That would be…
Sally: It would be weird, but yes. But we would have to REALLY clean up.
Emma: HE would clean up.
Sally: I mean before he came. He would put stuff in places where we couldn’t find them.
What would be Monk’s least favorite room while visiting us?
Emma: The kitchen, probably. Or Sally’s room!
Sally: My room!
How would JPFMovies and Monk get along?
Sally: Well, not so great.
Sally: Well, not so great.
What do you think Monk would do to the DVD collection?
Sally: Uh…organize it. Why are you doing this instead of JPFMovies?
Because JPFMovies is snoring.
JPFMovies: zzzzz………..What are you doing? ….zzzzzzzz
What would you rather watch, Monk or Malcolm in the Middle?
Sally: What a question.
On another note, what do you two think of the allegations that we snuck the My Fair Lady review into the coveted position of 150th post?
Emma: I deny those allegations.
Sally: I don’t really know what you mean.
JPFMovies could not be reached for comment.
*Note JPFmovies was NOT provided an opportunity to respond to these scurrilous accusations. JPFmovies denies any lack of diligence on the part of the site and/or any claims that JPFmovies “fell asleep at the switch” so-to-speak. Furthermore JPFmovies maintains the position that it was scammed out of its 150th review extravaganza by the treacherous trio.