A couple of weeks ago I reviewed 12 rounds, one of the worst, moronic movies I had seen in quite some time; that is, until I tried to watch Armored. I have not seen Matt Dillon in a movie in some time–which was too bad because he has made some great movies i.e. Wild Things playing one of the leads (Sam Lombardo) co-staring Bill Murray, but after this abortion you have to wonder did he need the money, was he drunk when he sign the contract or can we blame his agent? Dillon plays an armored car guard who is in financial trouble (versus the wealthy armored car drivers who live in luxury) and to add a bit of contemporary flavor, his house is going into foreclosure. Oh my goodness! Hopefully he will show the man by robbing his own vehicles of forty-two million dollars with no planning, scheming or even a conversation.
In the end it does not matter, because the sum total of this movie and their great plan to rob from their own “armored” trucks (oh so clever naming the movie armored) is . . . I don’t know because I could not stand it anymore. I was embarresed for Matt Dillon, I found myself trying to come up with excuses for him and his role in such a waste of film. It takes a certain kind of crap for a movie to actually put me in a bad mood, but Armored had no problem achieving that goal.
Mr. Matt Dillon, I am still a big fan but lay off the booze when you pick your next movie role it will save us both a lot of embarrassment.
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