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Don’t Drink the Wine–It Does Not Taste Fine. Cary Grant in Arsenic & Old Lace (1944)

Emma and Sally Review Arsenic and Old Lace: Charge!

Why did you want to see A and OL?

Emma: Because it’s a good movie.

Sally: Because I love the Teddy Roosevelt thing. It’s really funny.

Can you describe the plot?

Sally: It was a pretty good funny movie.

Emma: It’s about two old ladies who kill people. They poison them and bury them in their cellar.

Sally: And they think it’s a good thing and their not real nephew finds out about it and he knows that it’s bad so…

Why do the old ladies think it’s a good idea to kill people?

Sally: Because they’re putting them out of their misery.

Emma: Because they are only killing people who are lonely and have no friends.

Sally: They only kill old gentlemen.

What’s your favorite part of the movie?

Sally: When the other guy who doesn’t think he’s Teddy Roosevelt charged up the stairs.

Emma: I don’t know.

Do you think Cary Grant and his new wife will live happily ever after?

Sally: No, I don’t think so. I think they’ll live insanely. Possibly happily.

Emma: I don’t know.

Do you think the aunts belonged in the insane asylum?

Emma: Well they were murdering people.

Sally: And they are kind of crazy. They were murdering people and thinking it was a good thing. They’re insane.

Do you think Teddy belonged in the insane asylum?

Sally: Yes. Although if they had a lot of stairs it might be not so good.

Do you belong in the insane asylum?

Sally: NO. That insane asylum was for people who thought they were historical people. And he said they were a little short on Napoleons.

Emma: Not necessarily. The aunts didn’t think they were historical people.

Sally: True, but they were still insane.

Who did the best acting job?

Sally: The person who turned out not to be a Brewster.

Emma: Mortimer?

Sally: Yeah.

Emma: I thought it was Teddy Roosevelt.

What did you think of Boris Karlov?

Emma: It said that it wasn’t actually, at the end. I thought that he was but he wasn’t. He looked a lot like him though.

Sally: He was weird.

What would you have thought if you were the cab driver?

Emma: I would have been annoyed.

Sally: I would have been really annoyed too.

What did you think of the police officer?

Emma: They all seemed pretty oblivious.

Sally: Yeah, they seemed pretty oblivious.

What did you learn from this movie?

Sally: Nothing.

Emma: Nothing.

Would you have tea with the aunts?

Sally: No.

Emma: I might have TEA with them.

Sally: Yeah, I might have tea with them.

Emma: Just not elderberry wine.

Sally: But you don’t drink, so…

Emma: Yes. Exactly.

What would you do if the aunts invited you to services in their cellar?

Sally : I would ask them why.

Emma: [shrugs]

Which of you is most likely to be found to be insane when you are older?

Sally: Emma!

Emma: Sally!

Explain your answer.

Sally: Well, she’s kind of crazy now.

Emma: So are you.

Sally: No I am not!

Emma: Well, you kind of are.

Sally: No I am not!

Do you consider this a girl power movie, and why or why not?

Sally: No, because it doesn’t really have girl power in it. The girl is just kind of helpless and the two aunts are insane. It’s not really girl power.

Emma: No, because the two aunts are insane.

Did you know that this play is commonly done by high school drama groups? Would you want to be in the play?

Sally: No.

Emma: Yes.

What part would you want to play, and why?

Emma: One of the aunts.

Sally: Yeah, I suppose one of the aunts. If I had to play some part.

Emma: It would be fun.

Sally: I don’t really want to be the other person, so…one of the aunts.

What is your favorite line from the movie?

Sally: Charge!

Emma: I don’t know.

Interviewer: My favorite is when Cary Grant says to one of the aunts, “You’ve just admitted to me that you have been murdering people and burying them in the cellar,” and she replies, “Yes, but you don’t think I would stoop to telling a fib!”

What rating do you think JPFMovies should give this movie, and why? On a scale of 1-10?

Emma: A nine.

Sally: A six.

And why?

Emma: It’s a funny movie.

Sally: Yeah, it’s a pretty fun movie. Especially the [imitates trumpet blowing] and charge!

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2012 in Movie Reviews

 

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What does Bridget Fonda, a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 and Bruce Campbell Equal? Army of Darkness (1993)

 

Army of Darkness, also titled Evil Dead III, is a 1992 comedy-horror film and is the third installment in The Evil Dead trilogy.  The Evil Dead trilogy focuses on the protagonist, Ashley J. “Ash” Williams a manager of a store “S-Mart”, played by Bruce Campbell, who deals with “Deadites”, which are undead antagonists created by the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis.  The original series comprises The Evil Dead (1981), Evil Dead II (1987), and Army of Darkness (1992).  Army of Darkness premiered in October of 1992, and was released in the United States in February of 1993, grossing $11.503 million domestically and another $10 million outside the USA for a total gross of $21.5 million.  Thanks to video, the trilogy has developed a typical cult following.  When researching this review, I came across a blog whose author claimed to have seen the films a combined 21,000 times.  I was even more surprised that Bridget Fonda had a small part in the film briefly playing Ash’s girlfriend. 

The film begins with Ash Williams and his 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 lands in 1300 AD but is captured by a chap named Lord Arthur.  Ash is taken prisoner, his gun and chainsaw confiscated, and is taken to a castle where he is thrown in a pit.  While in the pit, he has to fight a Deadite and regains his weapons from Arthur’s “Wise Man.”

According to the Wise Man, the only way Ash can return to his time is to retrieve the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis.  When he arrives at the Necronomicon’s location, he finds three books instead of one and eventually finds the real one and attempts to say the magic phrase that will allow him to remove the book safely — “Klaatu barada nikto”.  However, forgetting the last word, he tries to trick the book by mumbling/coughing the missing word and grabs the book from the cradle.  An evil clone that was created en route to the site rises from his grave and unites the Deadites into the dreaded “Army of Darkness.”

Using science from the textbooks in the trunk of his 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88, Ash defeats the Deadites.  After his victory, he makes a potion made from the Necronomicon that transports him back to his own time.  At the end of the film, Ash is working at S-Mart telling a co-worker about his trip back in time, but then a female customer becomes possessed by a demon and starts wreaking havoc on the store, and Ash smokes the creature.

Shooting of Army of Darkness began in 1991, and it lasted for 100 days.  The film was shot on the edge of the Mojave Desert, the cast and crew endured very hot conditions during the day and very cold temperatures at night. Most of the film took place at night and the filmmakers shot most of the film during the summer when the days were longest and the nights were the shortest.

The original ending, in which Ash oversleeps in the cave and wakes up in a post-apocalyptic future, was restored to the film for the UK VHS release, which also had the cinematic ending put in as a post credit extra. This scene has been restored on the “director’s cut bootleg edition” DVD and the double disk DVD, which also featured the cinematic version of the film.

Because of money issues, though Raimi and his crew freedom to shoot the movie the way they wanted, Universal Pictures took over post-production and was not happy with Raimi’s cut because the original ending was undesirable.  A new ending was shot a month after Army of Darkness was made in a lumber store in Malibu over four nights.  Then, two months after Army of Darkness was finished, a round of re-shoots began in Santa Monica and involved Ash in the windmill and the scenes with Bridget Fonda done for very little money.  Raimi recalls, “Actually, I kind of like the fact that there are two endings, that in one alternate universe Bruce is screwed, and in another universe he’s some cheesy hero”.

The film apparently ran into rating problems as well.  With the Motion Picture Association of America over the film’s rating of NC-17.  Universal, however, wanted a PG-13 rating, so some cuts had to be made but was still stuck with an R rating.

As I said before this film has some of the best one-liners I’ve ever seen—making the clips very difficult to cut.  This is a great movie if, and only if, you take it for what it is: a slapstick horror film.  Anyone looking for some substance might as well keep on looking.  The special effects are hardly special so what does this film offer? Simple: Bruce Campbell at his finest. 

 

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2012 in Movie Reviews

 

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Cannonball (1976) or Don Simpson why didn’t’ you sue the makers of Cannonball Run for copyright infringement?

David Carradine stars in Cannonball, also known as Carquake, a 1976 film that was one of two released in ‘76 (the other being The Gumball Rally) that were based on a real illegal cross-continent road race which took place for years in the United States.  The same theme was later copied by The Cannonball Run, Cannonball Run II and Speed Zone!  The Cannonball was directed by Paul Bartel, who, together with Don Simpson, wrote the film.  Simpson even makes a cameo, but we will get to that later.  Apparently the name of the film and the plot were inspired by Erwin G. “Cannon Ball” Baker, (1882-1960), who traveled across the USA several times and by the Cannonball Baker Sea-To-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash, an illegal cross-continent road race introduced by Brock Yates to protest the 55 MPH speed limit—a fine protest indeed.

 

The Trans-America Grand Prix is an illegal underground race held every year starting in Los Angeles and finishing in New York City.  Coy “Cannonball” Buckman (David Carradine) hopes to win the race and get his career back on track as he was recently released from jail serving time for killing a girl while driving drunk (we find out later someone else was driving).  “Modern Motors,” a prominent racing team, has promised a contract to either Cannonball or his nemesis Cade Redmond (Bill McKinney), whichever one of them wins.  Cannonball is still on probation when his parole officer, Linda Maxwell (Veronica Hamel), who he is having an affair with (only in the 70’s: truly outrageous), determines he will be crossing state lines in violation of his parole but instead of stopping her parolee, she is co-opted into joining the “fun.”

 

Other drivers include teenage surfer sweethearts Jim Crandell (Robert Carradine—who would go on to play Lewis Skolnick in the 1984 classic Revenge of the Nerds) and Maryann (Belinda Balaski) driving Maryann’s father’s Chevrolet Corvette, middle-aged Terry McMillan in a Chevrolet Blazer, three stimulating waitresses, Sandy (Mary Woronov), Ginny (Glynn Rubin) and Wendy (Diane Lee Hart) driving in a van, haughty German driver Wolfe Messer (James Keach) driving the yellow De Tomaso Pantera, preppy African-American Beutell (Stanley Bennett Clay) in a Lincoln Continental Mark V, a car which he was hired by a wealthy elderly couple to transport to New York for them and Cannonball’s best friend “Zippo” (Archie Hahn) in a Pontiac Trans Am identical to Coy’s.  

 

Unlike Cannonball Run and others, this race degenerates into a violent and deadly demolition derby.  The Pantera is blown-up, Beutell’s borrowed Lincoln Mark V becomes progressively more damaged as he crosses the country, while Jim and Maryann face engine trouble with the Corvette’s broken fan belt.  The rivalry between Cannonball and the increasingly-unstable Redmond gets out of control as they try to force each other off the road costing Coy his Trans Am after Redmond breaks the headlights.  Luckily, he finds some hicks who just happen to have a 1968 Ford Mustang that admire Cannonball and offer to trade cars as long as when he wins the race, he mentions their name on TV.  Coy and Redmond have their final showdown on an unfinished bridge, which Cannonball and his newly acquired Mustang successfully jump while Redmond loses control, crashes over the side and dies when the car explodes.

 

Bennie, meanwhile, has sent a gunman to kill the driver of the “other” red Trans Am as it is beating Coy.  He is unaware that the driver is Zippo or that Linda is now riding with him, as Coy thought it safer for her to do so since Redmond was after him.  While with Zippo, she has found out that it was Zippo who was driving the car in which the girl was killed, not Coy.  Coy took the blame because he knew the weaker Zippo would never survive in jail.

 

Bennie’s gunman shoots Zippo dead and the Trans Am crashes and explodes.  Linda jumps clear, but is injured.  Jim and Maryann see the wreck and pick up the comatose Linda, taking her to the hospital.  Behind them, the presence of the wrecked Trans Am on the freeway causes a multiple-car pileup.

 

Terry McMillan and Louisa arrive first at the finish line, but Louisa lets slip that the Blazer was flown there and he is disqualified.  The girls in the van and Coy are neck-and-neck until Sandy attempts to take a shortcut when the girls get lost and are stuck in traffic and the van crashes.  Coy arrives at the finish line and is about to stamp his timecard, making him the official winner, when he is told about Zippo and Linda’s accident and realizes Bennie caused it.  He tears up his timecard so it can’t be stamped and gives the pieces to Bennie, who is taken away by gangster Lester Marks (played by the film’s director Paul Bartel) to whom he owes all the money he bet on Coy, presumably to be killed.  Assured of his racing contract, Coy is taken to the hospital to be reunited with Linda by the team manager.  Having decided to finish the race in spite of believing they cannot win having lost so much time, Jim and Maryann are the next to arrive at the finish line.  They are surprised and overjoyed to be told they are the winners of the $100,000 first place prize.

 

At the hospital, Coy and Linda enjoy their reunion, while Beutell delivers the Lincoln – now completely wrecked – to its horrified owners.

 

Cannonball is the movie that broke the dam and started a flood of films revolving around illegal coast to coast car races.  In fact, I am shocked that the makers of Cannonball Run were not sued for copyright infringement.

 

The cameos by Martin Scorsese and Sylvester Stallone (clip provided) are uncredited, while Roger Corman and Don Simpson are both listed in the credits (clip of Don Simpson as Assistant DA).  The real stars of this movie however are the cars.  The film showcases some of the most popular American and a token European (Pantera) muscle cars, ever to make their way on to the road.  My mom had a Lincoln Mark V, just like the one in the film (See the picture of the Lincoln and the clip)—it was even the same color, except that we had a white leather interior.  That Lincoln could have won a race–it had a huge motor in it and it felt like you were riding on your living room couch.  Unfortunately, they don’t make them like that anymore.  There was also a Dodge Charger, Trans Ams (must be popular because there are two of them), a Corvette, Mustangs and the Pantera–all rigged up.  

 

Some of the highlights to look for include the massive car pileup on the interstate towards the end of the film and the exploding Detomaso Pantera.  As you can imagine there’s enough car carnage to make even the most Blues Brothers hardened fan giddy with excitement.  There is also an element of violent explosion with other drivers not even giving the accident a second glance.  I would also like to point out the outfit that Stallone is wearing while he and his cohorts are eating a bucket of KFC.  I love KFC.  It was good to see all of those great cars again, throw in some bad acting and one of my personal favorite actors David Carradine and that is a recipe for a fantastic film.  To those who say this is a “B” film my reply is simple F%$^k You.

 
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Posted by on December 12, 2011 in Movie Reviews

 

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